Scrambled or Fried?

That's the title of today's reading in "Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy" by Sarah Ban Breathnach. A book that I have been reading for 16 years. She writes it as a year long journey to change, but I think it takes a life time to change a life. There's so much about this adventure, it can't be figured out in a year. And life does throw curve balls: this is not what I planned on doing today...

I love Sarah's book and maybe reading it again is overkill, but she resonates with me and I love her prodding and insights into life. I better understand some things now, as I have changed on the inside which makes for change on the outside. She has a Spiritual thread to it and I love how she weaves God into our everyday lives in a way that is user friendly. I know the book has helped me greatly in my journey and I have been buying it for friends a lot lately.

So I've read this passage many times, but for some reason, today it hit me, again. Hard. Is it because I watched Erin Brockovich last night? Is it because I saw how much she cared about something close to her heart and know how much I still care? Not only about water, but how people view waitresses. By the way, Erin, as you probably know, had a cameo in the movie. She was a waitress.

Sarah talks about the demands of life, and when you just can't take it anymore, you just want to jump on a bus and start life over as a waitress in a diner somewhere out west. You want to run away. I get it. I get it that waitresses have a different life and maybe don't have some of the pressures that those in the corporate world have, but hold on a minute!

To quote Sarah: "Of course you're not going to do it, but contemplating a plan of escape is an imaginary mechanism to let off steam from life's pressure cooker. No more overdue bills, arguments over cooking cleaning, carrying out the trash, charge accounts, or...care-taking of an elderly parent...When you think you can't handle it anymore, a life that revolves around asking customers if they want their eggs scrambled or fried holds a certain appeal." WOW! That's it? A life that revolves around only a question? Sounds like waitresses live in another world. (Waiters too but since she mentions diners, I'll generalize and say waitresses.)

Do we not have to deal with all those things mentioned above? Do we live in a bubble? Are we apart from the everyday life that other people live? Do we not have struggles and demands too? Unfortunately many people think so, because serving people food is still not considered a real job, hence our lives might be not so serious either. I don't want to argue that point-- it was the whole reason why I made my movie in the first place, and I am still getting that message out. I'm not angry about it, just tired. I've been fighting it all my life. I just want people to understand that the life of a waitress is very different than people think from what they see and read in many forms of media.

But maybe waitresses do live in another world. Maybe we do live fantasy lives? Hmmmm. Let's see... We don't usually stress over work when we are at home. Our stress is at work and stays at work. We can usually get days off for important family functions or events with a simple shift change. We always have cash in our pockets and don't have to wait in line at ATM machines. We don't have to work for a company for 5 years before we get more than 2 weeks vacation. We can go to work, make good money and still be home when our children get home from school. We can move to a new town and land a job within a day or so. (At least that has been my experience from over 25 years and in a "normal" economy.) We get to know our co-workers really well (without competition for a raise) and many times keep those friendships for years and even a lifetime. We usually have a lot of  fun at work with the customers who come in.We can take weeks off to travel the world if we want and still have a job when we return.

I could go on, but you get the point. Am I just saying the good things, yes. That's because there are other blogs that mention the down side of waitressing (serving) and most of them deal with the fact that we aren't respected, which leads to bad behaviour from customers. My friend Patrick Maguire has a great blog that addresses many of these issues in a mature and insightful manner. It's called: "I'm Your Server, Not Your Servant" which by the way, is very close to a line in my movie that was left on the cutting room floor as the scene was too long. But it will be in the remake, that's for sure!

So even though I was going to be doing some water blogging and research today, I was sidetracked. Why? Because I still, and always will be, on the soapbox for trying to get people to treat servers as the intelligent fun loving hard working people they are. Can people just stop acting as if servers aren't real people with real lives, real families, real jobs, real situations that everyone who walks upright faces? Or maybe we could practice the Golden Rule a bit more? (and that goes for servers with bad attitudes too!)

Am I being too hard on Sarah, or taking this too seriously? Maybe. But I took my life as a waitress seriously. I seriously had a wonderful life and still do! By the way, when I went to get Sarah's website address, I came across information that saddened me. Apparently Sarah made a fortune and lost it all. I will have to look into that deeper. Maybe she forgot some of the wonderful things her book taught...

But when that fantasy of running away to be a waitress in a diner happens, maybe you might see it as an exciting adventure and a great way of life. Maybe you might see it for what it really is. Being a waitress is a great life! "We don't live our jobs, we live our lives!" Another line from the movie. But that one made it to the screen...