A Miracle and Loss

In the time before I got back behind the wheel of my big rig, I had no intention of working on the movie website. But because of many "coincidences", I ended up overhauling the whole website. 

2 days ago, I woke up with all the usual frustrations- how can I get this done? I'm nobody. I'm a waitress and now a trucker. How can I get to the people who can make this happen? What do I do Lord? I can't do this. Ok, yes, the movie is all over the world by word of mouth. But what about getting it remade as so many people keep telling me to do. I can't do it!

After praying and talking to God, I said ok, I'm going to do what worked when the movie was made in the first place. "Let Go and Let God" (That message was on my phone). I'm going to paint the boat and let it sail so to speak. Feeling a tiny bit better, I got up and as I stepped into the bathroom, a miracle happened. In an instant, I felt God saying, as I was thinking, It's not your (my) movie. Then I thought, "It's not my responsibility." Immediately, I heard Dr. Charles Stanley's voice in my head about a sermon he preached.

He said he was driving to church one day in all kinds of turmoil about all that was happening and suddenly he felt God saying to him, "Charles, it's not your church. It's not your responsibility. It's mine." PHEW! He said he'd never forget that moment. A huge burden was lifted. 

THANK YOU LORD!!! It's not my movie, never has been. I just showed up and did the work. He made it happen. And I had nothing to do with it getting spread all over the world. So I am going to show up and do the work. But I am free! God is in control and I totally knew it then... and FELT IT!

Good thing because yesterday I discovered something "terrible". For over 15 years I have kept all the emails from movie cast members and musicians, waitresses, contacts with many companies, restaurants and organizations, ideas and information I used to help me with the movie. So many folders. Confirmation and verification of facts about the movie. Well, it's all gone. Not there. Deleted forever.

Why? Because I didn't log into my Yahoo account within a year. 

It's happened in the past that I was away from the account. The support person said there must have been a glitch in the system for it to have still been there then. 

But it's all gone now.  Shocked. Sad. Unbelieving. But then it hit me. God is really telling me that I am not responsible. It's His movie. He is in control.

So, I'm putting this story out there because it's the truth. I have no idea of God's plans for me, but I'm not trying to get into the movie industry. I made a movie because I know God called to me, and now I just want to use it to help others. My mission was to get a positive restaurant movie out there and I did.

What's next? I have no idea. But I'm just going to be open and in the meantime live my dream of driving the big rigs. 10-4 good buddy. We gone, ba bye!