Scrambled or Fried?

That's the title of today's reading in "Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy" by Sarah Ban Breathnach. A book that I have been reading for 16 years. She writes it as a year long journey to change, but I think it takes a life time to change a life. There's so much about this adventure, it can't be figured out in a year. And life does throw curve balls: this is not what I planned on doing today...

I love Sarah's book and maybe reading it again is overkill, but she resonates with me and I love her prodding and insights into life. I better understand some things now, as I have changed on the inside which makes for change on the outside. She has a Spiritual thread to it and I love how she weaves God into our everyday lives in a way that is user friendly. I know the book has helped me greatly in my journey and I have been buying it for friends a lot lately.

So I've read this passage many times, but for some reason, today it hit me, again. Hard. Is it because I watched Erin Brockovich last night? Is it because I saw how much she cared about something close to her heart and know how much I still care? Not only about water, but how people view waitresses. By the way, Erin, as you probably know, had a cameo in the movie. She was a waitress.

Sarah talks about the demands of life, and when you just can't take it anymore, you just want to jump on a bus and start life over as a waitress in a diner somewhere out west. You want to run away. I get it. I get it that waitresses have a different life and maybe don't have some of the pressures that those in the corporate world have, but hold on a minute!

To quote Sarah: "Of course you're not going to do it, but contemplating a plan of escape is an imaginary mechanism to let off steam from life's pressure cooker. No more overdue bills, arguments over cooking cleaning, carrying out the trash, charge accounts, or...care-taking of an elderly parent...When you think you can't handle it anymore, a life that revolves around asking customers if they want their eggs scrambled or fried holds a certain appeal." WOW! That's it? A life that revolves around only a question? Sounds like waitresses live in another world. (Waiters too but since she mentions diners, I'll generalize and say waitresses.)

Do we not have to deal with all those things mentioned above? Do we live in a bubble? Are we apart from the everyday life that other people live? Do we not have struggles and demands too? Unfortunately many people think so, because serving people food is still not considered a real job, hence our lives might be not so serious either. I don't want to argue that point-- it was the whole reason why I made my movie in the first place, and I am still getting that message out. I'm not angry about it, just tired. I've been fighting it all my life. I just want people to understand that the life of a waitress is very different than people think from what they see and read in many forms of media.

But maybe waitresses do live in another world. Maybe we do live fantasy lives? Hmmmm. Let's see... We don't usually stress over work when we are at home. Our stress is at work and stays at work. We can usually get days off for important family functions or events with a simple shift change. We always have cash in our pockets and don't have to wait in line at ATM machines. We don't have to work for a company for 5 years before we get more than 2 weeks vacation. We can go to work, make good money and still be home when our children get home from school. We can move to a new town and land a job within a day or so. (At least that has been my experience from over 25 years and in a "normal" economy.) We get to know our co-workers really well (without competition for a raise) and many times keep those friendships for years and even a lifetime. We usually have a lot of  fun at work with the customers who come in.We can take weeks off to travel the world if we want and still have a job when we return.

I could go on, but you get the point. Am I just saying the good things, yes. That's because there are other blogs that mention the down side of waitressing (serving) and most of them deal with the fact that we aren't respected, which leads to bad behaviour from customers. My friend Patrick Maguire has a great blog that addresses many of these issues in a mature and insightful manner. It's called: "I'm Your Server, Not Your Servant" which by the way, is very close to a line in my movie that was left on the cutting room floor as the scene was too long. But it will be in the remake, that's for sure!

So even though I was going to be doing some water blogging and research today, I was sidetracked. Why? Because I still, and always will be, on the soapbox for trying to get people to treat servers as the intelligent fun loving hard working people they are. Can people just stop acting as if servers aren't real people with real lives, real families, real jobs, real situations that everyone who walks upright faces? Or maybe we could practice the Golden Rule a bit more? (and that goes for servers with bad attitudes too!)

Am I being too hard on Sarah, or taking this too seriously? Maybe. But I took my life as a waitress seriously. I seriously had a wonderful life and still do! By the way, when I went to get Sarah's website address, I came across information that saddened me. Apparently Sarah made a fortune and lost it all. I will have to look into that deeper. Maybe she forgot some of the wonderful things her book taught...

But when that fantasy of running away to be a waitress in a diner happens, maybe you might see it as an exciting adventure and a great way of life. Maybe you might see it for what it really is. Being a waitress is a great life! "We don't live our jobs, we live our lives!" Another line from the movie. But that one made it to the screen...

For The Record

Blogging used to be a simple way to share thoughts with others. It's escalated into so much more but I never caught on so back to basics and sharing thoughts just for the record.
 
Water. Always been my thing. Always been on water patrol everywhere I went.

Waitressing. Loved it all my life. Yup, got the university degree, and from a great school by the way, but stayed out of the corporate world. Just didn't fit my life (and I'm not alone).

Movies. Fun to watch, but never wanted to be in the biz. Still don't and won't ever be.

Why these three things? No idea. Just the way it happened. Now my mission has to do with all three.

You know? I just want to help servers to be seen in a way that isn't degrading. I want to tell the public in a nice way, that they might want to consider changing their opinions about servers. (AND I heard it again on Friday night) "People are waitresses because they can't do anything else."  Really? But I loved my job and made good money, even though I always hated filling out my tax forms and wished I didn't have to put "waitress" as my job. I hate to admit it that I allowed others to influence my feelings, but I always felt inferior, and I'm not alone it that either. "A real job"? Tried them. Made less money. Had more stress. Had less fun. I was miserable. Sure if I stuck to them for years I would have made more money, but it was never that important to me. My freedom and quality of life has always been worth more. Call me crazy that's fine with me--always have been, but it's kept me from goin' insane. Sing it Waylon!

I want to help people know that water is a concern that has to be addressed. We really can't waste much more time on this fact. So how do we address it? Stars! With stars! Not the kind that twinkle, the kind that billions of people have to know what they do. The kind that everyone wants to follow, copy or be associated with. If you put a Hollywood star and a Nobel Peace Prize winner in the same room. Who do you think will get the most attention? Who draws the crowds?

So remake a movie that has already been seen all over the world. Put together a soundtrack that has music that crosses generations (which is easy to do these days), and open it on World Water Day or during World Water Week and get money for water orgs. After that, everyone can make their money.

I haven't written this down, but have told some people: when I got back from Ireland where I lived while I was writing the script, I happened to watch "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when it was released on DVD. I ended up watching it twice in a row-- listening to the commentary the second time. I had 4 pages of notes. Nia and I were thinking and feeling the same things when we were writing our respective movie and how we hoped people would feel when they watched it! I was amazed and very happy at the time. I was on the right track, and now I know my movie hits a nerve--in a good way.

Is it crazy to think that any good clean movies, fund raising events (outside of politics) or generous group actions can come out of Hollywood anymore? I don't think so. Despite what so many people on the street say, I think there are a lot of good people there who are getting involved in social issues even more in innovative ways. Use up and coming stars. Use interns and film schools to supply the crew. Use the companies that are water conscious for product placement. Use existing music from musicians who care about water. Have the CD sales go to water. Advertize who is involved and showcase their generosity and concern. We seem to do it with all the bad, why not with some good for a change?

My friend cautioned me as what to write here in this blog, but I just want to shout: IT'S SO EASY, THIS WOULD HELP! IT CAN BE DONE! I ALREADY HAVE AN AUDIENCE! As a Hollywood movie this would be popular. It already is. Here's an idea. We already have: get this free action toy at _________when you buy a ________. Some plastic thing that is played with for a day and ends up in a land fill. Let's try: get this refillable water bottle at ___________ when you buy a  large salad  (promoting healthy eating while we're at it) during opening week. Let's use social media to promote and not spend millions on advertising. Word of mouth works we all know that! There are loads of ideas and ways to make this happen that would benefit so many people.

Being raised in the burbs of Chicago but born on a farm, my dream was always to live in a cabin in the mountains and have a horse. Well I've had that for years so I have to default to one of my other dreams. That was: to do something big that would help a lot of people. Never had a clue how, what or if that was even possible. Well it is and this is it. So crazy as it might be, I will persist. There will be someone who discovers Remake 4 Water and says, hey, she might have something there.

Changes

When you get into the any industry, you get the job and apply the skills you have been taught in the education system. Since most people don't go to school when learning the Hospitality Industry, they tend to learn on the job. Usually starting out in diners or family owned places, or even some corporations where they are willing to hire inexperienced servers, taking the attitude that skills can be taught but attitude can't be, you might get a job there.

Many people outside the biz think that anyone can be a server. So this is what happened last week at work. (I work very part time while I work on Remake 4 Water) One of the girls who is training to be a waitress, served glasses of water to her table by setting the tray down on an empty table then took the glasses off the tray (she has bussed tables for months as a hostess so she can carry a tray-with 2 hands). When I mentioned to her that she wouldn't be able to do that if the restaurant was full and she really needed to learn how to balance glasses on a tray, she said she couldn't do that.

Another waitress was working that same week and asked me to help her serve 4 cups of coffee. She complained that she kept spilling the coffee on the under liners. Sure! I love to help people learn, so I showed her how to stack them and keep the cups on the tray so if spillage occurs, it's on the tray. Then you put the cups on the under liners when you get to the table. "Oh that's too much work!" was her reply.

Honest.

Is this piddly stuff? Of course it is! But what it points to is the fact that there's trouble brewing. Are these the only examples? No and I bet that anyone who has worked in the industry sees it. Training has to be an important part of the process. Would you want to be paying $28 for a dinner and have a server who can't serve? I wouldn't! We won't even get into the soft skills or some other finer points.

I know there are loads of  blogs out there that complain about customers, but we need to look out from the inside now and then too! We have to teach people how to be good servers or the industry will continue to be seen as unprofessional, full of transients and people who don't care. I made "Did I Say Thousand Island?" with the intention of showing servers in a positive light and there are many in that light-- people who love their jobs and care about their customers.

It's not all from only one side of the table--and neither is the movie. By the way, the entire movie is available to watch right on that page. Later. I want to go and enjoy riding my horse before I go to work!

2 Broke Girls

I don't watch TV. Period. Haven't for years, so when I heard the title of the show and discovered that it was about waitresses, I thought it was yet another negative and demeaning show about restaurant workers, so I didn't  look into it.

But then the other night I thought hey, why not. It just hit me to go to You Tube and see if I could watch an episode. Living in Canada, we don't have quite the same access to shows as people in the States. Surprised that I could watch parts of an episode, and even more surprised when I looked at the clock and it was nearing 2 am, I was shocked! It really was entertaining, funny and very well written. Ok, so it's a different approach than my movie, it's a show with some realistic restaurant events and situations. Mind you, if  they happened in some of the places I've worked you'd be fired, but it's still fun to see it on the screen. 

Looking into it again today, I discovered that it indeed is being renewed and matter of fact is at the top! Yea for a restaurant show! 'Bout time! This can only help the idea that a restaurant show or movie is marketable, which is what I've been saying all along. Tie it with helping others especially concerning water and you win both ways. By the way, the number of celebs who concern themselves with water continues to grow. When I looked  a couple of months ago it was at 188 and today it's at 205.

I don't know if the 2 broke girls get their cupcake business going or not, and maybe they are cruder than "Did I Say Thousand Island" is as a whole, but it's fun to see a show that at least doesn't degrade servers in the usual ways of the media. Keep going! By the way, 1000 Island continues to be downloaded 1000's of times a day! When I emailed and asked the host server if the numbers were real, he said yup, most likely they are. Cool, eh?

Horses and Chimpanzees

The average age of the crowd that went to see War Horse last Tuesday was surprising. Maybe it was the day of the week, maybe the time of year, I don't know. But I would say the average age was over 40.

When I premiered "Did I Say Thousand Island?" in Colorado, people of all ages came to see it, but I have been surprised over time that I get the most emails from middle aged folks who say they enjoyed the movie. One of the largest demographic today is women over 35, and that bodes well for a remake of this restaurant movie. Aren't most servers female? Yes. Which brings me to another interesting fact. Two of the most popular offerings the public has had about the restaurant industry in recent years have been written by men who have spent only 10 years in the industry in one city. I'm talking about the book Waiter Rant and the movie Waiting.

I thought Waiter Rant was very well written, and the content was, I am assuming, true for a New Yorker who is a waiter by default, but it certainly isn't true across the board. Too much research that I did when I was making my movie just disagrees. Many waitresses and waiters actually do enjoy their job, and I can bet more would if it was considered to be a "real job".

"Did I Say Thousand Island?" shows servers as the fun and smart people they are and as I have been told many times, is a realistic portrayal of the restaurant industry. That must be why it's been downloaded over 55,000 times in 183 countries so far. For a no-name movie made by basically one person (with awesome help  from friends) that's pretty good. Here's a link to the latest press release talking about the new project going on with the movie concerning water.

Why did I put chimpanzees at the top? When I saw War Horse, one of the ads at the beginning was for Chimpanzee, a documentary/story about a wee monkey, and if you go and see it during the opening week, Disney will donate a portion of the proceeds to the Jane Goodall Institute. That's the exact idea I have been proposing with Remake 4 Water for a long time, so see? It can be done. The difference is that my movie isn't mostly a documentary, it's a story. It's a story about everyone--everyone goes out to eat. Remake 4 Water...c'mon. Let's Do It!