There's More to it

At first glance, Did I Say Thousand Island? seems to be a nice, sweet and fun movie about life in resort towns and working in the restaurant industry.  It is. 

But lurking beneath the surface are other emotions and introspective notions. I knew this, but I was reminded again the other day. The lead actress Jaime Foard called me. She, her husband and their almost 10 year old son watched it together for the first time. Her son loved it (of course) but her husband made a comment that really made me think.

"Cathy always seems angry."

Hmmmmm. Well. You know? You're right. But I'd say it was frustration rather than anger. And I would know. 

This is a fictional movie but it was stitched together with stories that I either gathered or remembered from all my years working in restaurants. Most everything in the movie had happened to someone. When I did research to see if I was on the right track before actually shooting the movie, I absolutely was. 

One of the things I was right about was actually the whole reason why I made the movie in the first place: to potentially impact the attitude towards us. I was tired and frustrated regarding how people treated my decision to work in the restaurant industry. They didn't respect the decision or the career. Even strangers said derogatory things when they'd learn that I have a University degree. Hence the questions that we all get asked that are stated on the website. Things like "real job" or "DO something with your life" or "JUST a waitress" etc. A gal at a wedding in Colorado said that very thing to me when I mentioned the movie. "Yeah! My parents are always saying that to me too. I love my life! Look where I live and get to enjoy it every day!"

People outside our world just don't get it. But I am starting to think that maybe things are changing. In a world turned absolutely upside down in the past couple of years, people were not allowed to go and eat. Now that things have been opening up, maybe they realized how important we non-real-job persons are to their sanity.

 A gal I worked with at Opryland Hotel over 40 years ago and I were talking once after I made the movie. She told me this story: "We went to a pub type place to have a bite to eat. I looked at the middle aged bartender and immediately thought 'look at her, what a loser'.  But as I sat there and observed what went on, I realized that this lady was an angel to the customers at the bar. She was kind and sweet to them. I could tell they were mostly regulars and I thought 'she wasn't just serving drinks. She was important to them. They had a real relationship.' I felt bad that I had made that snap judgement." 

Seeing as we had been bartenders for private parties-- yes a bit different, but still-- I was at first surprised by her initial comment. But she had moved on to the corporate world. Interesting enough, not always the happiest conversations in those years following. Sorry, but it's the truth. Many people have come out of the woodwork since I made the movie to let me know that they really miss their lives from "back then".

So yes. Cathy was frustrated just as many of us have been. But she threw it off and happily carried on, just as we usually do. But I want to make it clear that I didn't set out to put that into the movie. It just came out on its own. Just as I was thanked by more than a few people for "making a movie about me" or "that's my life", there is more to it, underneath the restaurant theme.

This movie has a life of its own, and yes her life is different than I thought it would be, but one thing's for sure...she was born out of LOVE. 

Love for a wonderful life. Love for the fabulous places I have worked at over the years and love for the restaurant people I had and still have in this life. I won't give up at finding the right people to remake this classic and timeless movie that everyone can relate to on one level or another. It would even make a great musical! Yahoo! Peace out! 

 

Don't Be Afraid. Just Ask.

This is personal. Not many people read my blogs so it's OK. I'm putting this out there anyway. 

I'm on a healing tour because my beloved horse Jimmy died suddenly. We were together for 24 years. I'm visiting friends and family all over the States. It's been an adventure and also recently a big learning event. 

I was in Champaign visiting my friend Janet, and she mentioned that Tom Hanks' brother is a professor there. All these years thinking that Tom might be the person who would understand this movie's potential to help and I just find this news out now? Crazy. So we went to his building and I left a note in his mailbox. It was about the movie, my mission and that I needed help. I straight out asked. I have quit being afraid. Or so I thought.

In Nashville, my friend mentioned a guy who sells typewriters and that Tom Hanks visited him. I was seeing a pattern here and thought it was a sign for me to go and meet him in person and ask (not over the phone) if he had any suggestions on how I might contact Tom. By the way, I do think typewriters are cool and had a beautiful mint condition blue Royal that was ruined in storage. I was sad. Anyways, we had a great conversation about many things including the restaurant industry. He's a very nice guy and passionate about his work, dealing in typewriters. And it was a really cool place.

I wanted to ask right away so I wasn't being weird, but as time went on, I felt more uncomfortable and nervous about asking him for help. It got to the end, and I struggled about asking, and ended up not asking but telling him about the movie. Fear. Fear stopped me. It all ended poorly. I left there with a pretty bad feeling. I felt dishonest and uncomfortable.

I sent him an email the day after to apologize and also prove that the things we did talk about were the truth. My friend suggested that I ask then. Bad move. Mistake. I should have had the guts to ask for help right away, but I didn't. Fear is a very strong emotion and I'm not used to all of this. I'm a waitress and a trucker and used to doing things on my own. I'm used to loving driving my 18 wheeler along the highway, seeing the land, meeting people and loving my life.

I didn't ask for this movie. No one has ever heard me say that I wanted to make a movie. EVER!

BUT, I KNOW I was called to make the movie. God provided EVERYTHING! Proof. One person absolutely can NOT do what I did. It was in God's strength. Period. It's His, not mine.

Last fall, I was getting everything ready to move to Vancouver Island and live a trucker type life, while still trying to get the movie remade, but Covid stopped that. I was very frustrated and angry even while loving being back on long haul. Waiting to move was ok, but I figured out that I was not doing what I know is God's will for my life. God's Will. How do I know? There's not enough space here to explain how I know.

Right before I started to write this down here, funny enough, my buddy from High School, with whom I was reconnected when the movie came out years ago, said that I have always been clear on God's call for my life. I didn't know it showed. Jim knows all about the remake idea. I thanked him for his perfect timing because I've been upset since yesterday when I read Kirk the typewriter man's email. 

A couple of nights before, I sent a very short (I knew he hated me) email to apologize AGAIN. He sent me a very long email about how I was selfish, acted covertly, tried to use him for my own good (getting into the movie biz I'm guessing), and lots more. Also how I don't understand famous people and their lives and so forth. I had no idea that I had done all these things. I just knew I really screwed up and something wasn't right. It was the first time in my entire life anyone has said anything this scathing and hurtful, and he was totally wrong about me. 

I returned an email and even asked for forgiveness AGAIN, along with knowing that I screwed up and that from his perspective, I did appear to be these things and I deserved to be beat up. I also put insight into my mission to help him understand this mess. Unfortunately, I doubt he'll read it or ever believe anything I say.  

But I do understand about famous people. Their lives are terrible in my opinion. They lose their lives to the world. Especially the really famous ones. No time to be just who they are. In public anyway. I would never want to be famous. I like my life just the way it is. I have friends all over the world. Real friends, not FB "friends". I'm 'famous' enough thank you very much.

Now I have come to realize that I need to let it all go, upsetting as his harsh words were. He completely misjudged me. He has NO IDEA of what I am all about. He thought I was a person who wants fame, fortune and whatever else goes with it and lots of other ideas of who I am. But he's wrong, and it's all because I was afraid and nervous. I forgot to remember to do this poster's message...(The poster I carried in my car on the whole tour!)

The truth is that my struggle with following God's path for me is because it's NOT what I want. Anyone who knows me knows that. Leave me alone God! I've said it many times. I LOVE trucking. Go away. I made the movie as you wanted. I'm done!

Apparently not. I've spent 18 years on this movie, all my retirement funds at the time--I'm fine now (and it's never been about money for me-- never made one single penny on the movie) and I even moved to Vancouver (alias Nineveh) to try to get connections for a remake, which is the path I ended up on. Why a remake? Because people keep saying how it needs to be out in the "regular" world. IT'S ALREADY BEEN SEEN IN EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD ON THE INTERNET!!! Isn't that enough?!?

I sound angry. I am. Just when I've recommitted to the movie... I'm angry at myself for being such a chicken, which made me appear deceitful and manipulative, and I'm a bit angry at Kirk. His reaction was very very strong (and rightfully so IF I was that type of person), but he had no room for understanding. I apologized twice and he still raked me over the coals. I made a big mistake out of fear. His perspective was only that I "tried to use me so that you could use Tom to get what you want". I get it from his view, but it's wrong. Besides, I already have what I want.

He doesn't know me or my life or the truth and passion of my mission. He just sees what he knows and has experienced, and maybe I was a trigger of some sort. He doesn't know that I'd give the movie away to the right people, to get it remade. Mr. Hanks keeps popping up. In North Carolina, my restaurant pal of over 20 years and I went by the part of the park trail where "Forrest Gump ran". Really?? C'mon! Kirk doesn't know why I made the movie in the first place--to help people understand what we in the restaurant industry are really like, and quit judging us and treating us as less than we are. He doesn't know that I put my entire life into this mission that I never ever wanted. And, he doesn't know that I have given up the fight.

Last night, because I was upset, I watched Milton's Secret . A movie based on Eckhart Tolle's teachings on controlling your emotions and thoughts. Great stuff and free! They were giving it away. At the end they were selling a package with tools to help you learn the teachings. Good movie... with a lure. I just now discovered that it was released in 2016! WOW. Thought it was new!

I've been giving the movie away since 2008. It's free all over the internet. No lure. No sales pitch, no nothing. Just a desire to help people understand and be entertained at the same time. It has helped people. I've been told. Now, I want to get the movie remade because I know it will help even more people. And perhaps in ways I didn't even know about. I've heard that before and was surprised. THAT was my desire. It was not to get into the movie biz--which is why I didn't really try film festivals. Those are for FILMMAKERS! I am a waitress. A waitress and a trucker, and I love them both.

I'm done. But one more thing. One lesson I've learned here is: just ask. Don't be afraid. What's gonna happen? Who knows. Who cares? Another lesson is: when I ask, do it boldly and confidently. I know what I'm supposed to be doing. I know my motives, and who cares what other people think. I don't anymore after this because they might be terribly wrong. But at the same time, don't be such a chicken!! There's only one Person who matters. My success is that when I stand in front of God, I want to hear, "Well done good and faithful servant." And THAT'S why I'm not going to quit or let something like what happened in Nashville destroy my desire to help others by doing the will of God. 

That's it.

Or maybe not. Since I wrote this, I keep thinking about and losing sleep over this whole mess. Last night (a few days after I first published this), I figured out why it's bothering me so much. Yes, I felt bad during and right after the event because I knew I messed up and felt dishonest and all those bad feelings, but not as bad as I felt after getting his email. 

Now I know why. He said, "covertly and ploy". It was my intention to meet him and ask him if he could help and I chickened out. (And I'm sorry if I like typewriters in the mean time.) IF I had intended to act covertly and have a ploy, and use him, I wouldn't feel bad at all. But I do. And, it has bothered me long enough. I have learned a big lesson as stated above and now I have to let it go. Just as in waitressing, you can't solve every problem and people are going to take the ONE mistake you make and erase everything else. No more fear. It gets me in trouble.

A Miracle and Loss

In the time before I got back behind the wheel of my big rig, I had no intention of working on the movie website. But because of many "coincidences", I ended up overhauling the whole website. 

2 days ago, I woke up with all the usual frustrations- how can I get this done? I'm nobody. I'm a waitress and now a trucker. How can I get to the people who can make this happen? What do I do Lord? I can't do this. Ok, yes, the movie is all over the world by word of mouth. But what about getting it remade as so many people keep telling me to do. I can't do it!

After praying and talking to God, I said ok, I'm going to do what worked when the movie was made in the first place. "Let Go and Let God" (That message was on my phone). I'm going to paint the boat and let it sail so to speak. Feeling a tiny bit better, I got up and as I stepped into the bathroom, a miracle happened. In an instant, I felt God saying, as I was thinking, It's not your (my) movie. Then I thought, "It's not my responsibility." Immediately, I heard Dr. Charles Stanley's voice in my head about a sermon he preached.

He said he was driving to church one day in all kinds of turmoil about all that was happening and suddenly he felt God saying to him, "Charles, it's not your church. It's not your responsibility. It's mine." PHEW! He said he'd never forget that moment. A huge burden was lifted. 

THANK YOU LORD!!! It's not my movie, never has been. I just showed up and did the work. He made it happen. And I had nothing to do with it getting spread all over the world. So I am going to show up and do the work. But I am free! God is in control and I totally knew it then... and FELT IT!

Good thing because yesterday I discovered something "terrible". For over 15 years I have kept all the emails from movie cast members and musicians, waitresses, contacts with many companies, restaurants and organizations, ideas and information I used to help me with the movie. So many folders. Confirmation and verification of facts about the movie. Well, it's all gone. Not there. Deleted forever.

Why? Because I didn't log into my Yahoo account within a year. 

It's happened in the past that I was away from the account. The support person said there must have been a glitch in the system for it to have still been there then. 

But it's all gone now.  Shocked. Sad. Unbelieving. But then it hit me. God is really telling me that I am not responsible. It's His movie. He is in control.

So, I'm putting this story out there because it's the truth. I have no idea of God's plans for me, but I'm not trying to get into the movie industry. I made a movie because I know God called to me, and now I just want to use it to help others. My mission was to get a positive restaurant movie out there and I did.

What's next? I have no idea. But I'm just going to be open and in the meantime live my dream of driving the big rigs. 10-4 good buddy. We gone, ba bye!

For the Love of Restaurants

Years ago in Florida, I was talking to the bartender about our jobs and he said, "Of course, we do it for the money." Gosh, I thought I did it for the fun! Grant it, bartenders can make more than servers in places, but still.

Maybe I am weird (as I have been told), but I loved working in all the restaurants over the years for many reasons. Regardless of what other people thought and think, the restaurant industry is a blast. It offers a fun and flexible life style--allowing you to spend time with family and friends, or activities that are important to you, and decent money at the right places--even great money. And, you can live in a place, while other people save money all year long, just for the chance to spend just 2 weeks in your home town. Pretty great!

When I was changing my Remake 4 Water website, I thought maybe...Remake 4 Money. Seems that money is what makes the world go round, as they say, but I didn't like the sound of that. Especially as money has never been my motivation. (My family and friends can verify that wee fact.)

So I decided while out walking in the cold clear Alberta night, I know!!! Remake 4 Love! Yeah... then people can think whatever they want. Love of what? You fill it in. Restaurants. People. Fun. Movies. Stories. Beautiful scenery. Horses. Romance. Money (for who ever remakes the movie-- that has been seen in every single country in the entire world and many territories and continues to be downloaded hundreds of times a day; it will happen) Whatever the love-- that was it. Love. Because I believe LOVE makes the world go 'round. Money is just a tool.

"It's not just a job, it's a lifestyle". That was the tagline for the movie years ago. It's a fact. Restaurant life is more than a job. Ask your friends or family who work in it and like it. Actually, when I was doing research before doing the movie, 95% of the people I spoke with really liked their jobs. It's such a fallacy that restaurant people hate their jobs and can't wait to find something else-- as all the movies, media and people outside of the biz will happily tell you. Boneheads.

So, because I still believe that the movie is a fun and entertaining coupla hours, as do thousands and thousands of people who must agree with me, seeing that they keep telling their pals about the movie, I will never give up that the right people will find it and remake it for the masses. It's just a fun movie that you will relate to in some way. So why not? Tell your second cousin on your mother's great uncle's daughter's brother's side of the family tree, that a fun movie awaits their talents, resources and savvy to remake a restaurant movie with heart.

Ok, gotta go truckin'! We gone. Bye bye...;-)

Where's The Beef?!

It's comin'. It's comin'. But not on a platter.

Do you remember that slogan? Clara Peller was the cute little ol' lady who shouted it at all of us back in the late 1980's. What a massive ad campaign THAT was. And....it worked. 

At Wendy's, sales jumped 31% to $945 million in 1985 worldwide. Wendy's senior vice president for communications, Denny Lynch, stated at the time that "with Clara we accomplished as much in five weeks as we did in 14½ years."  (Taken from Wikipedia.)

Just as a great ad campaign boosts sales, great movies boost... ah... well... what do great movies boost? There are many answers to that question and I suppose it really depends on the person watching the movie. But regardless of your answer, there is absolutely no doubt that movies and the celebrities that are in them have a huge effect on the lives of people all around the world. And this is exactly why I will never give up on my mission to find the right people to remake my indie movie.

I was thrilled a few weeks ago when I discovered that we have officially been seen all over the world: in every country...196 total, and I wouldn't doubt if there are even more. It's just that 196 is the magic number the United Nations agree is the number of countries on the planet. There are many websites where you can get the movie downloaded for free and when I check on them now and then, it's really cool to see how many people at any given time are getting the movie. It makes me realize how popular the remake will be when it happens. That is, if it's made with the same element that draws people in now. I believe that will happen, and I am not giving up!

So what did I mean by "but not on a platter"? I can't really waitress any more, but am still in the food biz--that is when you consider hauling cattle to be an integral part of the process: albeit not the most pleasant part. I love the driving... I just don't look them in the eye when I drop them off. I do try to give them a comfortable final ride and watched the Temple Grandin movie because I believe in treating animals with respect regardless of their role in my life.

What does this have to do with my movie? Well, given the fact that it takes almost 2000 gallons of water to produce merely 1/2 pound of beef, and there have been unprecedented droughts in some of the beef producing states, maybe we need to take a closer look at how we act concerning our water. If we don't make changes to our behavior, we are in big trouble. My mission is to find the right people to remake my restaurant love story movie and use it to bring awareness and funds to the serious water situation. Water and restaurants are related in more ways than the obvious one and I won't quit trying until I find the right people.

Where's the beef? Hopefully, still on its way........

For The Record

Blogging used to be a simple way to share thoughts with others. It's escalated into so much more but I never caught on so back to basics and sharing thoughts just for the record.
 
Water. Always been my thing. Always been on water patrol everywhere I went.

Waitressing. Loved it all my life. Yup, got the university degree, and from a great school by the way, but stayed out of the corporate world. Just didn't fit my life (and I'm not alone).

Movies. Fun to watch, but never wanted to be in the biz. Still don't and won't ever be.

Why these three things? No idea. Just the way it happened. Now my mission has to do with all three.

You know? I just want to help servers to be seen in a way that isn't degrading. I want to tell the public in a nice way, that they might want to consider changing their opinions about servers. (AND I heard it again on Friday night) "People are waitresses because they can't do anything else."  Really? But I loved my job and made good money, even though I always hated filling out my tax forms and wished I didn't have to put "waitress" as my job. I hate to admit it that I allowed others to influence my feelings, but I always felt inferior, and I'm not alone it that either. "A real job"? Tried them. Made less money. Had more stress. Had less fun. I was miserable. Sure if I stuck to them for years I would have made more money, but it was never that important to me. My freedom and quality of life has always been worth more. Call me crazy that's fine with me--always have been, but it's kept me from goin' insane. Sing it Waylon!

I want to help people know that water is a concern that has to be addressed. We really can't waste much more time on this fact. So how do we address it? Stars! With stars! Not the kind that twinkle, the kind that billions of people have to know what they do. The kind that everyone wants to follow, copy or be associated with. If you put a Hollywood star and a Nobel Peace Prize winner in the same room. Who do you think will get the most attention? Who draws the crowds?

So remake a movie that has already been seen all over the world. Put together a soundtrack that has music that crosses generations (which is easy to do these days), and open it on World Water Day or during World Water Week and get money for water orgs. After that, everyone can make their money.

I haven't written this down, but have told some people: when I got back from Ireland where I lived while I was writing the script, I happened to watch "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when it was released on DVD. I ended up watching it twice in a row-- listening to the commentary the second time. I had 4 pages of notes. Nia and I were thinking and feeling the same things when we were writing our respective movie and how we hoped people would feel when they watched it! I was amazed and very happy at the time. I was on the right track, and now I know my movie hits a nerve--in a good way.

Is it crazy to think that any good clean movies, fund raising events (outside of politics) or generous group actions can come out of Hollywood anymore? I don't think so. Despite what so many people on the street say, I think there are a lot of good people there who are getting involved in social issues even more in innovative ways. Use up and coming stars. Use interns and film schools to supply the crew. Use the companies that are water conscious for product placement. Use existing music from musicians who care about water. Have the CD sales go to water. Advertize who is involved and showcase their generosity and concern. We seem to do it with all the bad, why not with some good for a change?

My friend cautioned me as what to write here in this blog, but I just want to shout: IT'S SO EASY, THIS WOULD HELP! IT CAN BE DONE! I ALREADY HAVE AN AUDIENCE! As a Hollywood movie this would be popular. It already is. Here's an idea. We already have: get this free action toy at _________when you buy a ________. Some plastic thing that is played with for a day and ends up in a land fill. Let's try: get this refillable water bottle at ___________ when you buy a  large salad  (promoting healthy eating while we're at it) during opening week. Let's use social media to promote and not spend millions on advertising. Word of mouth works we all know that! There are loads of ideas and ways to make this happen that would benefit so many people.

Being raised in the burbs of Chicago but born on a farm, my dream was always to live in a cabin in the mountains and have a horse. Well I've had that for years so I have to default to one of my other dreams. That was: to do something big that would help a lot of people. Never had a clue how, what or if that was even possible. Well it is and this is it. So crazy as it might be, I will persist. There will be someone who discovers Remake 4 Water and says, hey, she might have something there.